Before Tara and I were even married, we made a commitment to not let the sun go down on our anger. We decided that no matter how tired we were the following day, we were going to stay up and work out whatever issues we had and not sleep until we reached some kind of resolution. That may sound like an unreachable goal, but I can honestly tell you that after almost 12 years of marriage, we have managed to hold true to that commitment. I could count on one hand the number of times we've "let it slide" and slept on an unresolved issue. If I were completely truthful with you though, I would tell you that I can't take any credit for this. God blessed our desire to honor Him with our relationship. I strongly believe that single decision, to work out issues as they come, was a huge ingredient to our success. Marriages don't fall apart overnight. It's a slow process that happens over time. It can seem quite sudden, but the signs are there long before the decay starts to show. Looking back, I'm so grateful that our Sunday School class hosted a Gary Smalley video series, when Tara and I were first married. God used him in such an amazing way to set our marriage on the right path. Another huge ingredient was the "uahh!" factor. In his video teaching, Gary passed around an old violin that was all beat up. People passed it around the room, not giving a second thought about it. Then, Gary said "Oh, by the way, that's a Stradivarius. (One recently sold for over $3 million) Everyone in the room collectively let out an "uahh!" Gary then said "Exactly! That's how you need to treat your spouse every time you see them. But, most of us after being married a while start treating our spouse like an old beat up violin, instead of the value they truly hold." That resonated with me. To this day, Tara and I try to greet each other, every time, with the "Uahh!" factor. It doesn't matter if we've just seen each other, or haven't seen each other in days. And, again, I would love to take credit here, but I just can't. God honored our efforts and blessed us. Plus, I married an incredibly wonderful woman of God who's willing to look past my very many short comings!
Throughout my life, there have been many times I've wanted to help someone, but didn't have the first clue as to how. After I met Jesus, I began to realize one huge thing I can do is pray. I take that very seriously. If you've ever caught me on-air, you have probably heard this. I get many prayer requests every day and, after praying, I'm always on the lookout for resources that will help with the circumstances addressed in these requests. Of all the requests I get, the majority of them have to do with issues within a marriage. When you're in a great marriage, you can sometimes forget that it isn't that way for everyone. And, then my heart breaks, because I so desperately want others to experience how great it truly can be. So, I pray harder. Although the Bible is extraordinarily helpful, every now and then an additional great resource will come along that can be applied to lives and help. The movie Fireproof comes to mind. If you haven't seen it, please plan to watch it sometime. Through the success of this movie, there is a fantastic website full of incredible resources. Please click here if you want more info;
www.fireproofmymarriage.com Another phenomenal resource
is music. Over the past few years, you've undoubtedly heard several songs that deal with these issues. Sanctus Real "Don't Give Up", Warren Barfield "Love Is Not A Fight" and several others. Now, we can add another to the list. It's the brand new song from The Afters, called "Ocean Wide" If you want to know more about this song, you can hear the lead singer's (Josh Havens) own words by clicking here;
http://media.buzzplant.com/content/ino/theafters/NewLifeMedia.wm
This song is now playing on Family Friendly Radio.
As always, if I can be praying for you, about anything, please don't hesitate to let me know; joeb@newlifemedia.org
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