How Many Times...

When I was eighteen I found myself at an extremely important crossroad. Years of continuous hurt and abuse had led me to a very dangerous place. I spent my days just trying to numb the pain enough to get through each day. I was teetering over the edge. Something had to give.

God had been nudging me, ever so gently, toward an inevitable decision. I could either spend the rest of my life running from the pain, or be obedient to what God was asking me to do. To assure I was hearing His directive loud and clear, He placed key people in my path to speak words of truth into my life. My task: forgive those that hurt me.

At first, I fought this very hard. There was no way I wanted to forgive any of them. I couldn't let them off the hook. With everything they had done to me, I could never do that for them. They would take this to their grave. I wasn't ever going to forgive them.

The conflict raged on inside me. It was tearing me apart. I found myself obsessing about it. I wanted revenge. I wanted to hurt them for all they had done to me. And, as much as my hatred grew, I hated even more the way it made me feel. The way it chased me into the very person I didn't want to become.

I kept running from it, until one night I was listening to my Christian radio station and heard the song "How Many Times" by Whiteheart. I had heard that song many times before that, but this time I heard it differently than at anytime before. And, it was really one line that hit me.

“You bled from a broken heart and I was to blame”

I knew in that moment that I had to go and forgive those that had hurt me. It took a little time to work up the courage, and I'll never forget the way I felt the first time I found myself face to face with someone who had hurt me so much. I felt sick. I was so torn, even at the very moment of truth. But, with God's help and strength, I was able to follow through. And, even though it wasn't received well at all, something extraordinary happened inside of me. I felt it almost immediately. It surprised me. I had been so focused on not wanting to set them free, it never crossed my mind that it was me that needed to be set free.

God is so amazing and so good to us. Looking back, my only regret is that I had fought God for so long. He knows what's best for us. I just needed to trust Him more. That single event has forever changed my life. God had been wanting to bring healing into my life, but I had been fighting Him. With that one act of forgiveness, the healing process took off like wildfire. It's not always been easy and forgiveness is a process not just a single event. But, God blessed the effort and continues to give me the strength I need to live in that forgiveness.

There's a new song you're going to start hearing in February that I'm so excited

about. It's called "7x70" by Chris August, the same artist that brought us the hit song, "Starry Night" and I know this song is going to impact lives in amazing ways. The same way "How Many Times" changed my life. From the first moment I heard "7x70",

I just knew it was one of those songs that was going to need to be shared. Even after all these years, this song impacted me in a profound way and reminded me the importance of living out our forgiveness.

Click here to see the official music video and hear this amazing song; http://bcove.me/na38qth2

If you are holding onto unforgiveness, please don't wait another day to let God help you find the healing you need, through forgiving those that have hurt you. You can trust Him. He does love you so much!

If I can be praying for you, please don't hesitate to let me know; joeb@newlifemedia.org

Joe Buchanan serves New Life Media as Network Music Director.www.newlifemedia.org (WBGL,WIBI & WCIC) We work very hard to honor God through serving you. Your input is very important to us and decisions are made regularly, based on the opinions you have. To assure that your opinion is being heard, please join our Music Advisory Panel today. Click on your station for a direct link. Thanks!
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